BMW – Big Money Waste
BUICK – Big Ugly Indestructible Compact Killer
CHEVROLET – Can Hear Every Valve Rattle On Long Extended Trips
CHEVY – Cheapest Heap Ever Visioned Yet
DODGE – Drips Oil Drops Grease Everywhere
FIAT – Fix It Again Tomorrow
FORD – Found On Road Dead – Fix Or Repair Daily
GM – Grinding Metal
GMC – Gotta Mechanic Coming
HONDA – Hold On, Not Done Accelerating
JEEP – Just Enough Engine Power
KIA – Killed In Action
MAZDA – Made At Zoo by Demented Apes
MG – Mostly Garaged
OLDSMOBILE – Old Ladies Driving Slowly Making Others Behind Increasingly Late Everyday
PINTO – Powerful Incendiary, Neatly Toasts Occupants
PLYMOUTH – Please Let Your Mother Out from Under The Hood
PONTIAC – Poor Old Nebraskan, Thinks It’s A Cadillac
PORSCHE – Piece Of Rusty Scrap, Cost Highly Expensive
SUBARU – Still Usable But All Rusty Underneath
TOYOTA – The One You Ought To Avoid
VW – Virtually Worthless
