Santa in Mysore Palace

Tourist guide: Sir, Please don't sit there, it is Tippu Sultan's chair.
Santa: Oye don't worry yaar i will get up when he will come

Santa ka Samosa

Santa road se gujar raha tha,
Usne road se kuch uthaya aur chillaya,
Haramjade log tatti bhi aise karte hai
Jaise Samosa pada ho.

Today's dinner should be light

Q:Why is  Sardarji standing below
    A tube light with a open mouth?

A:Because his doctor advised him
   'Today's dinner should be light'

1 Kabutar Ne Santa K Upar

1 Kabutar Ne Santa K Upar Beet Kar Di
Sardar: Kutte Teri Maa NE Tujhe Chaddi Pehenna Nahi Sikhaya.
Kabutar: Abey To Tu kya Chaddi Mein karta hai..?

How do U recognize

Q:) How do U recognize Santa in school or College???
A:) They are the ones who erase their notebooks
The teacher erases the blackboard.. . BOLO tarara!!

A teacher told all students

 A teacher told all students in a class
To write an essay on a cricket match.
All were busy writing except Santa.
He wrote 'DUE TO RAIN, NO MATCH!'

Lawyer to Santa

Lawyer to Santa: 'Gita pe haath rakhkar kaho ke...... '
Santa:'Yeh kya, sita pe haath lagaya
To court mein Bulaya. Ab fir gita pe haath!!'

A lady calls Santa

A lady calls Santa for repairing door bell,
Santa doesn't turns up for 4 days.
Lady calls again, Santa replies,
I'm coming daily since 4 days,
I press the bell but no one comes out.

After finishing his MBBS

After finishing his MBBS, Dr. Santa Singh starts his Own practice.
He checked his first patient's Eyes,
Then the tongue, and finally the Ears using a torch.
Finally he said Battery is Ok !!!

teri biwi ko saap kaat raha hai

Santa : Are dekh teri biwi ko saap kaat raha hai.
Banta : Chinta mat kar yaar, uska zeher khatam ho gaya hoga to recharge karwaane aaya hoga.

Aap ke paas color TV

Santa Singh goes to a TV shop and asks,
‘Aap ke paas color TV hai kya?’

‘Haan’ replies shop owner.
Santa Singh says, ‘Ek hara vala dena!’

Santa found answer

Santa found answer to the
most difficult question ever-
What comes first the chicken or the egg ?
O yaar, jiska order pehle doge, vo ayega !

Santa was drawing

Santa was drawing money from ATM.
Banta ,who was just behind him in the line said: I’ve seen ur password. It’s ****.
Santa: U r wrong. It’s 1394.

Kal raat tum mujhey neend

Banta: Kal raat tum mujhey neend main gaaliyan day rahay thay?
Santa: Tumhari galat fahami hai.
Banta: Kaisi galatfahami?
Santa: Yehi ki mein soya tha.

Your friend is kissing your

A man to Santa:
Your friend is kissing your wife in your home.
Santa rushes home and came back within
half an hour and slapped the man
and said:
“He’s not my friend.”

yahan shaadi sirf relatives mein

Girl: Will u marry me?
Santa: No, humare yahan shaadi sirf relatives mein hi hoti hai.
Mummy ne Papa se, Didi ne Jijaji se aur Bhaiya ne Bhabhi se

Yeh chaaku kyon ubaal rahe ho

Banta: Yeh chaaku kyon ubaal rahe ho?
Santa: Suicide karne ke liye
Banta: To phir ubalne kui kya zaroorat hai?
Santa: Kahin infection na ho jaaye

In a train compartment

In a train compartment husband:
Darling, mujhe to tumhari aatma se pyar hai,
tumhare jism ki mujhe koi chah nahin.
Main tumhari rooh ko chahta hoon,
tumhara shareer to main kutton ko daal doon.
Banta sitting on upper berth says: BOW BOW

Santa ki shaadi ek nurse se

Santa ki shaadi ek nurse se ho gayi.
Banta: Aur santa, kaisi nibh rahi hai?
Santa: Pooch mat yaar, jab tak sister na kaho, bolti hi nahi.

I have swallowed a kay

Santa: I have swallowed a kay.
Doctor: When?
Santa: 3 months back!
Doctor: What were you doing till now?
Santa: I was using duplicate key, now I have lost it too.