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Showing posts with label Jokes SMS. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Jokes SMS. Show all posts

Friday, 8 July 2016

अम्मा जान - AMAZON

विभूति जी- तिवारी जी मुझे कुछ नये  कपड़े  चाहिये...

अंगूरी भाभी- भरभूती जी "अम्मा जान" से मंगवा लीजिये...

विभूति जी- भाभीजी Its not अम्मा जान its "AMAZON"..

अंगूरी भाभी- सही पकड़े हैं....

Tuesday, 14 June 2016

C.A.T Exam question

Question: Spell the word "COW" in 13 letters.

Scientists got mad calculating it..

Even Professors couldn't answer..

Lecturers said that it's a wrong query, printing mistake, etc.

Toppers got confused..

Average students' minds went blank cursing the question setters..

Below-Average students committed suicide, unable to solve it..

But Santa gave a cool answer..

"SEE O DOUBLE YOU"
😀😀😀😜😜😜😂😂

डॉक्टर and मरीज़

डॉक्टर मरीज़ से~ अगर तुम मेरी दावा से ठीक हो गए तो मुझे क्या इनाम दोगे ...
.
मरीज़~ साहब मैं तो बहुत गरीब आदमी हूँ , कब्र खोदता हूँ ... आपकी फ्री में खोद दूंगा ... !!!

Sunday, 21 February 2016

Google is a girl or a boy?

Teacher : Google is a girl or a boy..?
..
..
..
Student: Google is a Girl.....

Because it won't let you complete the whole sentence and start guessing, suggesting.....

AND

You ask only one question.....
But get hundreds of irrelevant answers in seconds...

शादी का एक डेमो तो देख ले

एक बार एक आदमी अपने सबसे अच्छे दोस्त को घर पर खाने पे बुलाया .. ...
:
वो भी 7 बजे शाम को ऑफिस छुटने के बाद .....
.
:
वो भी बीवी को बिना बताए....
:
:
दोस्त को देखते ही बीवी का चिल्लाना शुरू ...
:
बीवी: मेरे बाल देखो...मैंने मेकअप नहीं किया हुआ,
घर की हालत देखो....मैं अभी तक गाऊन में हूँ
:
और मैं आज इतनी थकी हूँ कि रात का खाना नहीं बना सकती...
:
क्या सोच के तुमने अपने दोस्त को घर बुला लिया...मुझसे बिना पूछे .....बोलो ?
:
:
पति: क्योंकि , जानू ये बेवकूफ शादी करने की सोच रहा था..
:
मैंने कहा पगले पहले एक डेमो तो देख ले।।

कामयाबी तो रग रग मे दौड़ रही है

पप्पू ने ब्लड टेस्ट करवाया 
रिज़ल्ट आया 'A +' 
 सोच कर बड़ा अचरज हुआ 
कि साली कामयाबी तो रग रग मे दौड़ रही है .. 
 तो स्कुल मे 'C' क्यों मिलता था ?

Sunday, 1 November 2015

Monday, 29 July 2013

Your husband needs rest

Doctor: Madam, your husband needs rest and peace, so here are some sleeping pills.
Wife: Doc, when should I give them to him?
Doctor: They are for you.!!

Dream of receiving jewellery & clothes

Wife: yesterday-night I saw a dream that u were sending me jewellery and clothes!
Husband: Yeah, I saw your dad paying the bill!!! 

Bloody English Language!

Husband: "Hi, what r u doing Darling?"
Wife: I'm dying..!
Husband jumps with joy but types "Sweet Heart, how can I live without U?"
Wife: "U idiot! I'm dying my hair.."
Husband: "Bloody English Language!"

Why women starts with "W"

Why women starts with "W" because all questions start with "W".. !
Who ?
Why ?
What ?
When ?
Which ?
Whom ?
Where ?
&
Finally Wife..!!!

Too late for garbage

Wife Running After A Garbage Truck:
Am I Too Late For The Garbage?
Hubby Following Her Yelled: Not Yet.
Jumpppp Innnn Fastttt. 

Do you know the meaning of WIFE?

Husband asks: Do you know the meaning of WIFE? It means,
Without Information, Fighting Everytime!
WIFE says: No darling, it means:
With Idiot For Ever

I look at your picture and the problem disappears

Wife: You always carry my photo in your handbag to the office. Why?
Darling: When there is a problem, no matter how impossible, I look at your picture and the problem disappears.
Wife: You see, how miraculous and powerful I am for you? 
Darling: Yes, I see your picture and say to myself, "What other problem Can there be greater than this one?

To whom do you owe your success as a millionaire

Interviewer: To whom do you owe your success as a millionaire?"
Millionaire: "I owe everything to my wife." 
Interviewer: "Wow, she must be some woman.
Interviewer: "What were you before you married her?"
Millionaire: "A Billionaire"  

Habit of talking in sleep

A Lady to Doctor: My husband has habit of talking in sleep! what should I give him to cure?
Doctor:
Give him an Opportunity to speak when he is awake

I will think about it

When a married man says "I'll think about it",
What he really means that,
He doesn't know his wife's opinion yet.

Throwing knives on wife's picture

Husband was throwing knives on wife's picture.
All were missing the target!
Suddenly he received call from her "Hi, what r u doing?"
His honest reply, "MISSING YOU"

Difference between Friend & Wife

Difference between Friend & Wife You can Tell your Friend "You are my Best Friend"
But Do u have courage tell to your Wife "You are my Best Wife?"

Sunday, 10 February 2013

Perfect Husband

Once a man was waiting for a taxi.

A beggar came along and asked him for some money. The man ignored him. But being a professional, the beggar kept on pestering him. The man became irritated when he realized that the beggar would not leave him alone unless he parts with some money.

Suddenly an idea struck him.He told the beggar, “I do not have money, but if you tell me what you want to do with the money, I will certainly help you.” “I would have bought a cup of tea”, replied the beggar.

The man said, “Sorry man. I can offer you a cigarette instead of tea”. He then took a pack of cigarettes from his pocket and offered one to the beggar.

The beggar told, “I don’t smoke as it is injurious to health.”

The man smiled and took a bottle of whisky from his pocket and told the beggar, “Here, take this bottle and enjoy the stuff. It is really good”.

The beggar refused by saying, “Alcohol muddles the brain and damages the liver”.

The man smiled again. He told the beggar, “I am going to the race course.Come with me and I will arrange for some tickets and we will place bets. If we win, you take the whole amount and leave me alone”.

As before, the beggar politely refused the latest offer by saying, “Sorry sir, I can’t come with you as betting on horses is a bad habit.”

Suddenly the man felt relieved and asked the beggar to come to his home with him. Finally, the beggar’s face lit up in anticipation of receiving at least something from the man. But he still had his doubts and asked the man, “Why do you want me to go to your house with you”.

The man replied, “My wife always wanted to see how a man with no bad habits looks like.”

वास्तविकता...

बच्चों की गलती नहीं है, जब स्त्रियां ( माताएं) दीपिका, कैटरीना  बनने के सपने देखती हो तो समाज में  महावीर या बुद्ध का जन्म कैसे हो? ...